Today I took Jai Lynn to the movies to see a special screening of Madagascar 3. Originally we were supposed to take some of her friends with us so that I could work on some social skills but some things didn’t work out this time so we weren’t able to use this opportunity for social experience work but I was able to use this chance to teach her about choices and consequences. While at the movies I told Jai Lynn that we were going to McDonald’s after the movies, because we had just had breakfast I would not be purchasing popcorn and soda. She begun to whimper and whine (something we’re working on) stating she wanted popcorn, I told her “We’re going to McDonald’s”. She continued to whimper, I then made a decision do I allow her to whimper and allow attention to be drawn to both of us or give her the popcorn? We couldn’t just go home because we had bought other’s with us so just leaving was not an option and I was not going to sit in the car to listen to her whine or sit in the lobby of the movie theater listening to her whine. So I made a decision:
“Jai Lynn if you get popcorn and soda now you will not get McDonald’s, so do you want popcorn now or McDonald’s later”
“I want popcorn” she said
“Are you sure” I asked “This means that you will not get McDonald’s if you get popcorn, do you want popcorn now or wait for McDonald’s”
“I want popcorn, I don’t want McDonald’s”
Now I knew what was going to happen, she was going to eat the popcorn and when we got to McDonald’s after the movies she was going to make her request, but I had to begin teaching her the lessons of choices and consequences.
So, off I went to purchase her popcorn and soda. Once the movie was over I drove to McDonald’s. The first thing out of her mouth was “I want McDonald’s” I stated “no you don’t get any you chose popcorn” And the whimpering, whining, self talk, crying, bad attitude, began.
In all of that she stated, ” I wanna die” I stated “no you don’t, you’re just upset and it will be okay there is food at home for you to eat”, then at some point she stated that she was stupid, ” stated you’re not stupid you just made a bad choice and that’s okay, we all make bad choices and now you know” After that she was pretty much okay. When we got home she grabbed a snack, went into the basement turned on Netflix and begun giggling watching her show. I’m not even sure if she was hungry (silently laughing) but if she just wanted what everyone else had.
But, today she learned (again) about making choices, this is a lesson that we have done before and she learned in that instance but new circumstances often cause a girl to have to think again. So this was a wonderful albeit uncomfortable lesson for her.
Until Next Time,
Blessings & Recovery